


Cravings

by AnkhMorporkBoneZone



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Addiction/withdrawal undertones, Bittersweet Ending (?), Caffeine Addiction, Cunnilingus, F/F, Identity Issues, Mal is a she/they enby sorry not sorry, Masturbation, Porn with Feelings, Softly Nonbinary Maladict, Vaginal Fingering, but she uses she/her for this story because there's still a lot she hasn't unpacked about herself, with a question mark because obviously it depends on your definition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:02:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28830879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnkhMorporkBoneZone/pseuds/AnkhMorporkBoneZone
Summary: ___________Mal’s eyes half-closed and she breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth. She saw Polly’s face. Her bright eyes that seemed to notice everything and her lips that were turned in a slight, worried frown and the short fringe of hair that sat wildly upon her head, uncombed.Andhell… it was all just cravings, wasn’t it? It was all justwant. What was the difference between the carnal hunger and the literal hunger? What was the difference between the python saying “drink her up” and the something else in Mal’s chest that whispered “pin her down and make her forget any name but yours”?____________Mal has been without coffee long enough that she's starting to crack. Polly offers to help.
Relationships: Maladict/Polly "Ozzer" Perks
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	Cravings

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to Ankh-Morpork Bone Zone where you'll get such classics as:  
> -queer guilt  
> -porn with emotions  
> -the author *probably* dragging herself/her own preferences for filth
> 
> Enjoy! :D

Maladicta – that was to say, “Maladict”, currently – was shaking.

She inhaled a breath and let it out again, grabbing for her cigarettes as her jaw tightened and her lips twitched with the edge of snarl. She _needed_ something to suck on, and the black ribbon on her uniform lapel might as well have been a ball and chain, dragging on her mind with all sorts of thoughts of how incredibly, _incredibly_ easy it would be to get all the blood she wanted.

She could smell the camp’s smoldering fire from where she sat. Night watch wasn’t so bad, generally. Especially not on quiet nights like this. Under the stars, Mal usually felt more at ease; it was all part of the whole “creature of the night” routine.

But tonight, she did not have coffee. Tonight, she was smoking one of the last cigarettes in the pack, and she didn’t know when she’d find more. She’d been rationing them, or at least trying to, but when she didn’t have coffee, she needed more cigarettes. That was just simple math.

She struck a match, lit the cigarette, and sucked in a lungful of sweet smoke, sighing it out like a prayer. Not that she prayed all that often, being as it was that she was an Abomination in the Eyes of Nuggan (in more ways than one, these days). And, besides, Wazzer prayed enough for the whole squad.

Footsteps approached, and Mal dropped her cig and slunk backwards into the shadows, already on high alert.

When Ozzer appeared out of the darkness, looking around furtively, Mal breathed an internal sigh of relief. There was no telling what she might do to an enemy combatant in her current state. In her mind, was a toss-up between the enemy easily beating her, a shaking, uncertain vampire, and the enemy being easily beaten because Mal was a shaking, uncertain vampire who would do almost anything to win.

“Maladict?” Oz whispered.

Mal smiled a little, staying in the shadows, watching the slight shape of the other soldier as she moved.

She was good at playing the part. Ozzer, that is. Or Oliver. Or Oz. Or Polly. Or whoever she truly was. Mal had spotted the others almost immediately, but she’d been different. She’d been good, _truly_ good.

Mal realized fully, then, that she’d dropped her cig. And she tightened her hand into a fist as she felt it tremble.

There was a _craving_ in her. Deep and hungry.

She stepped out of the shadows and moved to walk beside Ozzer, her feet barely more than a whisper.

“Good evening, Ozzer,” she said.

Ozzer startled in surprise and Mal smirked.

“ _Sugar_!” Ozzer said, before clapping a hand over her mouth and blushing red.

Mal chuckled, stepping back over to the tree she’d been standing before she’d heard footsteps, trying her best not to look too desperate as she searched the ground for her dropped cigarette.

“How in the hell do you _do_ that?” Oz asked, stamping her foot in indignation, all pretense of manliness forgotten. “We’re all wearing the same bleeding red uniforms, but you still manage to blend in!”

Mal smiled a fanged grin and shrugged. “It’s a gift.”

Oz rolled her eyes and walked over to a fallen log, plopping down with her arms crossed. Mal raised her eyebrows and looked up at the moon, calculating carefully.

“The watch does not change for another hour…” she pointed out.

Oz settled on the log a bit, shoulders bobbing in a shrug. “Couldn’t sleep. Figured I’d help keep an eye out.”

Mal nodded, wetting her lips and taking another long look at the ground. Wherever it was that the cigarette had bounced off to, she certainly wasn’t going to find it in the dead of night like this. Even with her vampiric night vision, the damn thing was simply nowhere to be found.

She absently reached up to pat at her pocket, feeling for the cigarette box. She had seven left. Enough to last a few days, if she was very careful.

_Damn it all_.

“Maladict?” Oz asked.

There was hesitance in her voice. The sort of tone that edged on crossing the line to worry.

Mal looked over, doing her best to smile and lean back on the tree behind her with a casual ease. She must have managed it, because Oz relaxed a little, although her eyes still lingered on Mal.

“Yes, Ozzer?” Mal answered.

Oz looked around, as if making sure they were alone.

“You can… call me Polly when we’re away from Jackrum and Blouse.”

Mal smiled a little. “Alright, then. Yes, Polly?”

Polly looked down at the ground, as if that would be enough to hide the smile on her face. As if Maladicta hadn’t just picked up the sense that her blood had begun to race in her veins and…

And, _shit_ , the craving was back. Fighting at the back of Mal’s throat like a python, like a beast that wanted to be let out.

“Why haven’t you told anyone? About me and the others, I mean?” Polly asked.

Mal blinked, and in her confusion said the one thing that came to mind. “Why would I?”

Polly looked up, visibly surprised, and Mal added, quickly:

“I just mean that… you’re all good soldiers.”

And as soon as it left her lips, Mal knew that wasn’t a lie that anyone would believe. No one in this regiment could, even quite charitably, be called a “good soldier”. And why should they want to be, after they’d seen how “good soldiers” behaved?

Polly nodded, snorting softly. “Of course, Maladict,” she said sarcastically.

Mal rolled her eyes, trying her best to carry it off. “Fine. You might not be good soldiers, but… Think of it this way, if someone like _me_ were in a regiment of… _good_ soldier-types, well…” She looked down at her hands, and her eye caught the tremble in her fingertips. “I’d, perhaps, not be as accepted.”

Polly followed Mal’s gaze, and then she spoke in a soft voice. “Withdrawal?”

Mal swallowed, closing her eyes. “It’s just a craving.”

“You’ve got your cigarettes, though, right?”

Mal winced a little, curling her lip. Polly must have noticed it, because she continued in that same soft voice:

“I think Igorina managed to grab a few, I could ask her about—”

“Thank you, Polly, but I’ll be alright.” Mal said tersely. Something began to slink in her head, like a predator on the hunt.

“You bloody well won’t be if you don’t get yourself something to keep you satisfied!” Polly said.

“I said, I’ll be fine.” Mal’s voice was low and rough.

Polly didn’t seem to notice. She looked at Mal stubbornly. “Well, it’s not like the rest of us will smoke them! Will you just take the help you’re being offered, you ba—”

The predator inside of Mal roared, and she rushed Polly, moving with vampiric speed over to the fallen log and looming over the shorter woman with the night shadows swirling all about her. Her lips parted in a snarl.

“Why? Are you afraid of me?” She asked, and even as she growled out the words, she knew this wasn’t her. This was that python of hunger and craving that lived inside of her. This was the beast she kept at bay with coffee and cigarettes and a black ribbon that weighed a ton.

Polly scooted away on the log, but her eyes looked up into Mal’s and she _wasn’t afraid_. She was just _angry._

“I think _you’re_ afraid of you.” Polly said, chin jutting defiantly even as she shrunk downward in her seat.

_Damn it._

Mal stumbled backwards a couple steps, coming back to herself with a shudder. One of her hands reached up to pinch at the bridge of her nose as she muttered, very softly:

“Sorry. Sorry, Ozz- erm, I mean, Polly. I’m sorry. I have cigarettes, I _do_ , I have… a few more. I’ll take the ones Igorina has, I’ll… I’ll take whatever you have.”

The hand at Mal’s side was shaking again, and she tightened it into a fist and relaxed it. She backed away several more steps, until her back hit a tree and she was forced to stop. The shadow beneath the tree’s boughs wrapped around Mal’s shoulders like a comforting blanket.

Polly watched Mal with eyes of fire. Mal heard her take a shuddering breath, and then her voice came, quiet and still tight with anger.

“You didn’t have to do that. Like you’re trying to scare me away.”

Mal sucked in a breath, nodding from the shadows. “I know. I know, I’m sorry, I just…”

As Mal drifted off, Polly shook her head. She still looked angry, though perhaps now the term was simply “upset”. She looked as if Mal had slapped her across the face.

“You just refuse to accept help!” Polly said.

Mal crossed her arms tightly and slid down the tree to crouch on the forest floor, feeling suddenly very cold.

“It’s not that simple,” Mal murmured.

“Well, no, of course it’s not _simple_!” Polly said, huffing, “Otherwise every vampire on the Disc would be a black ribboner! But _you_ told me that it’s not about one thing or the other, it’s about a _craving_. About having something to direct that toward, right?”

Mal rolled her eyes at the oversimplification but nodded all the same. “Yes, that is essentially how it works.”

Polly nodded once. “Alright,” she said, her tone turning matter of fact, “then we’ll simply find you something in place of coffee.”

Mal snorted. “That is _not_ a simplicity!”

Polly rolled her eyes. “Okay, maybe not ‘simply’, but the idea is to find you something instead of coffee or blood.”

“ _Don’t. Say. That word.”_ Mal snarled, feeling the python tightening in her chest.

She may have been able to deal with it on a good day, but this was _not_ her finest hour.

“Darn- Damn- _Sorry_!” Polly stammered out, her eyebrows furrowing with a wince.

There was a moment of silence between them, and then Polly sighed. She stood up from the log and strode confidently over to where Mal was crouched. Mal moved slightly away, but Polly moved closer, coming to sit down on the mossy tree roots directly beside her.

“What do you crave?” Polly asked.

Mal grimaced. “You _know_ what I crave. That doesn’t help.”

Polly huffed, looking at Mal like she was being purposefully obstinate. “I meant what _else_ besides the… b-word and the coffee?”

Mal rolled her eyes and stood up, arms still crossed. “Polly, while I thank you for the attempt, I don’t think this is going to help.”

Polly stood up, too, still so close that Mal could smell her. Her sweat and her unwashed uniform and the earthy aroma deeper down that Mal had come to call “Ozzer”, with a confusing mix of emotions along with it.

“Come on, Maladict, there has to be some way to… help this.” Polly whispered.

Mal’s eyes half-closed and she breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth. She saw Polly’s face. Her bright eyes that seemed to notice everything and her lips that were turned in a slight, worried frown and the short fringe of hair that sat wildly upon her head, uncombed.

And _hell_ … it was all just cravings, wasn’t it? It was all just _want_. What was the difference between the carnal hunger and the literal hunger? What was the difference between the python saying “ _drink her up_ ” and the something else in Mal’s chest that whispered “ _pin her down and make her forget any name but yours_ ”?

“I…” Mal uncrossed her arms, turning to face Polly. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?” Polly asked.

“I mean that I don’t…” Mal paused a moment, huffing out a breath, “I don’t _know_ if I can do what I… crave.”

Polly shifted a little. “Well, what is it?”

Mal took another deep breath, which was a mistake, because now her mouth and nose were full of the smell of Polly and it felt like it was starting a fire in her mind.

“I want…” Mal stopped again.

It was as if Polly could read her mind, see that fire. Polly’s eyes met Mal’s, flickered down to her lips, and back up to her eyes. Mal knew they were standing too close to one another, but Polly hadn’t moved away. They were on the precipice and all they needed was a push.

Mal shook her head, just barely. “Polly, if I start—”

She didn’t get to the end of her sentence because Polly had wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and dragged her into a heavy kiss. And Mal’s hands were reaching out for Polly before she could stop herself. Before she could think, _“stop this right now, Maladicta, this girl still thinks you’re Maladict”_.

Why should it _matter_? Either way, this was Abominable.

But, _oh_ … It mattered. It mattered because Polly’s hand, the one that wasn’t around Mal’s neck, was scrambling awkwardly with where to hold onto, and it was skirting steadily downward on a track that would soon reveal that Polly wasn’t the only one carrying an extra pair of socks.

Mal grabbed Polly’s wrist, firmly, and pivoted them both so that Polly’s back was pressed against the tree. Once there, she pinned Polly’s hand above her head let out a low growl from the back of her throat.

Polly gasped a little, but then they were kissing again, and Polly’s mouth opened to invite Mal’s tongue inside and Mal moaned softly.

This was a bad idea. A very bad idea, Mal knew. A bad, dangerous, awful idea. She should stop now and explain to Polly that she couldn’t possibly do this. That she couldn’t possibly take advantage like this, because she wasn’t the person Polly thought she was.

Mal’s hand was already working at the closures for Polly’s jacket, though, as they kissed. Her other hand moved from Polly’s wrist to her hand, intertwining their fingers gently.

Polly broke the kiss to take a breath, and Mal’s lips curled a little. She leaned in to kiss along Polly’s jaw, then hesitated a moment before kissing her neck. And then she lapped her tongue along Polly’s throat, tasting all that sweat and road dust and _Ozzer_ and _Polly_ intermingling together in a maddening way. The blood-hungry python hissed, but something inside of Mal hissed back.

But there was a tension, then. Polly’s hand stiffened on the back of Mal’s neck and her breath hitched a little. The fingers intertwined with Mal’s _twitched_ , like they had, for just a moment, wanted to move. Maybe to cover Polly’s neck. Shield it from the beast.

Mal stopped, realizing what that had looked like, and she moved away from Polly’s neck slowly. Her eyes found Polly’s and she held the gaze.

“I won’t hurt you.” Mal spoke the words in an almost hoarse whisper. She hoped that she was telling the truth.

Polly nodded. “I know. I trust you, Maladict.”

Mal winced a little. “Mal. Just… call me Mal.”

And she blinked, coming back to herself as she looked down at her feet. Her hands trembled.

“What’s wrong?” Polly asked.

Mal shook her head, releasing Polly and taking a step back. “We… shouldn’t do this.”

Polly grabbed Mal’s hand before she could retreat further, her bright eyes just barely visible in the stray beams of moonlight.

“Don’t leave, Mal, please.”

Mal looked down at Polly’s hand, then up to her face. She knew that Polly could feel her shaking. Now it was only partially because of coffee deprivation.

“What if I weren’t Maladict?” she whispered.

Polly frowned a bit, tilting her head. “Not… Maladict? Like how I’m not Ozzer?”

Mal tilted her head back and forth in a so-so way. She wasn’t… _not_ Maladict. Not all the time. But the parts of the time where she felt like Maladict and the parts of time where she felt like Maladicta weren’t different, anymore, they were all just _her_ and she was both and possibly neither. She shrugged, looking away. That wasn’t what this was about.

“It’s complicated and I can’t think right now. The coffee withdrawal is…” She pressed a hand to her temple. “Polly, I just don’t want you to do this because you think I _need_ this. I’m a vampire who’s about to snap, and I know you’re smart enough to figure out that you _might_ be able to… to _satisfy a craving_.” Mal wet her lips, looking at Polly pleadingly. “But I want you to do this because you… want _this._ I want you to want… _me._ Even if I wasn’t… _me_ and a _vampire_ and _desperate,_ I’d want you to want me because I _want you.”_

Polly’s eyes widened a little, and Mal pressed on, her voice still rough.

_“_ But more than anything, Polly, I _don’t_ want this from anyone but you. I’d want you to do this even if I wasn’t desperate. Even if I wasn’t Maladict.”

_Because I’m not._

The silence seemed to stretch forever. Mal watched Polly’s face for signs of… _anything._ Any sort of reaction. Anything that would say whether she found this news surprising or distressing or… Abominable. Any sign that Polly’s mind was changing about the things they’d been very nearly doing.

But Polly was still holding her hand. They were still clinging to one another, shaking, uncertain.

Polly, at last, stepped closer. She was looking at Mal’s face appraisingly, almost studying it. Mal allowed it because she didn’t know what else to do. There were no words left in her head.

“You really… feel all that?” Polly asked, at last.

“Yes… I thought you might have… I mean, I thought I was obvious.” Mal replied, blushing.

Polly smiled a little, and then closed the distance and kissed Mal again, even more hungrily than before, and Mal moaned until she remembered where she was and what she was doing. She broke away from Polly to stare at her.

“And you’re just… _fine_ with this?”

Polly gave Mal a flat look. “That was me being very obvious about _also_ , erm… _craving_.”

Mal smiled, teasing lightly. “You know Nuggan would never approve.”

“Nuggan can come down for a swift kick in the fruit and veg.”

Laughter escaped from Mal even as the beast in her body kicked back in, stronger than ever. She practically flinched, ducking her head as she fought back a snarl.

“You’re not—” Polly started.

“I’m _fine_ ,” Mal interrupted, letting out a terse breath. She looked at Polly carefully. “It’s just… the pull. You don’t understand.”

“I know I don’t.” Polly whispered. She reached up to cup Mal’s cheek, gently and carefully. “But let me help you?”

Mal held herself back, hesitating. She said the words she’d started to say before. Before Polly had kissed her.

“Polly, if I start to… lose it. If I—” Mal cut herself off, looking away, muttering an explanation as quickly as possible:

“I haven’t… done this. Not like this, not in the kind of state I’m in right now. I don’t know what will happen if we start… if I…”

Polly shrugged. “We’ll figure it out. And I still trust you.”

Mal wanted to say, “ _It’s not me you need to trust, it’s this damned awful thing that lives inside of me_ ”, but she didn’t.

She wanted to say, “ _I don’t deserve your trust_ ”.

But she didn’t.

Instead, she flashed a fanged grin and pulled Polly into a rough kiss, her hands grabbing for the front of her uniform eagerly. Polly yielded easily, her feet stumbling a little over the terrain as Mal gently pushed her back against the tree where they’d started. Where all of this had started, really, when Mal had dropped her damned cigarette.

Mal sucked at Polly’s lower lip, nipping slightly but carefully enough not to break the skin. Polly gasped and ran her hands along Mal’s shoulders and down her back, leaning fervently into the touch.

Once she’d finally managed to get all the buttons on Polly’s uniform jacket undone, Mal turned her attention to her belt. Polly let her struggle in the dark with in for a moment, but when it became apparent that it was being difficult Polly broke free from the kiss with a snort.

“Let me…” Polly whispered, out of breath as she was.

Mal released Polly’s belt buckle, moving to caress her hands over Polly’s small breasts, teasing at her nipples through the thin fabric of the undershirt.

Polly moaned, even as her fingers loosened her belt. She looked at Mal, biting her lower lip, and whispered:

“Do you want me take off your…”

Mal shook her head. “I know what I want.”

She reached down Polly’s pants, still meeting her eyes, and stroked her fingertips lightly over her underwear, balled up socks and all.

Polly inhaled sharply and her head lolled back, exposing more of her neck. Mal licked her lips and leaned in to kiss Polly’s throat again, her eyes closed in concentration. Only taste the skin. Only taste what’s been offered. No more than that.

Mal reached out, using her free hand to tease at Polly’s breasts as she continued licking and kissing at her neck.

Polly moaned again, but lifted a clenched fist to her mouth and bit down in an attempt to keep quiet. Her breathing was fast, and Mal paused her ministrations.

“You’re alright?” she asked.

Polly nodded, smiling. “More than alright. I just don’t want anyone to hear.”

“We can still stop.” Mal said firmly, and what she meant was “ _I_ can still stop.”

Polly shook her head, smile growing. “You’d better not.”

Mal looked down at the hand that was down the front of Polly’s pants and, in a quick motion, removed the socks from the picture.

“There,” she said, as if that solved everything, “Now we can continue.”

And then Mal moved her hand into Polly’s underwear, her fingertips finding a surprising amount of wetness there. Polly moaned out another half-muffled sound as Mal’s fingertip brushed her clit, and the hand she wasn’t biting onto fisted into the fabric of Mal’s uniform.

Mal watched Polly, astounded by her reactions, and how her moans made the heat in Mal’s abdomen flare and blaze.

She leaned close, kissing at the spot where Polly’s shoulder and neck met, as she moved her hand, slicking her fingertips and teasing around Polly’s clit.

“ _Ahh_ , shit,” Polly gasped, as her hips bucked just a little.

Mal grabbed ahold of Polly’s waist, pinning her tighter against the tree and growling a little.

“Do you like this?” she asked.

Polly moaned. “Yes…”

Mal felt Polly’s fist clenching into her jacket, felt the tension against her hands as she held Polly against the tree, and she shifted to get closer. She placed one of her feet between Polly’s and leaned in until her knee brushed the bark of the tree and the crotch of her uniform was brushing at Polly’s hip. The slight friction, or maybe just the knowledge of its potential, sent a hot jolt of arousal through Mal’s body.

She crowded against Polly and kissed her again, slipping her tongue into her mouth. Polly seemed to melt into the touch, sighing as Mal’s fingers continued to stroke at her pussy.

Mal grunted in surprise as Polly’s hand wrapped around her ass, pulling her closer with a surprisingly rough movement. She broke away from kissing Polly, frowning down at her as even her fingers paused.

Polly looked up at her, flushed in the face but confident.

“I know what I want, too.” She whispered, and her fingers dug into the fabric of Mal’s pants to drag her even closer.

Mal’s hips bucked a little at the friction, and she groaned low in her throat as her hand on Polly’s hip tightened.

Polly smiled hungrily, leaning in to kiss Mal’s neck. Mal bit her lip and forced her trembling hand to begin moving again, circling her slick fingers across Polly’s entrance for a moment before she slipped one inside of her.

“ _Maladict_ ,” Polly breathed, almost too quiet to hear.

And the name didn’t bother Mal. It never had. She made a noise that was practically a purr and breathed in deep, filling her head with the smell of _Polly_ and sweat and sex and the tree they were leaning on.

She thrusted her finger inside of Polly a few times before she added a second digit, and Polly moaned, louder than was probably wise, but Mal didn’t stop her. Didn’t want her to stop.

Mal found her own hips grinding a little as she pumped her fingers in and out of Polly. All that heat and desperation in her was becoming unbearable, and she was still craving something. She licked her lips as Polly moaned into her shoulder, because the way that she was leaning, Mal was poised just over Polly’s neck. An expanse of exposed skin with blood racing through its veins.

And then Polly let out a loud moan that she cut short abruptly by biting down on Mal’s neck.

Mal groaned, wincing a bit, but she felt suddenly focused again in the familiar sensation of _pain_. Something to ground her. Polly hadn’t bit her hard, just enough to keep herself from moaning too loudly. Her hands were still grabbing desperately for Mal’s clothes, pulling her closer with every gasp, every thrust.

Mal let out a shuddering breath, and then she leaned down to kiss Polly’s neck, gently and fleetingly, before she carefully backed a step away from the shorter woman.

Polly frowned at her. “Mal, is something wrong?”

Mal shook her head, breathing heavily as her hands worked at her own belt.

“I’m fine just… give me a moment.”

Polly watched, and Mal was satisfied with the amount of debauched she looked. Her short hair was messy and her uniform was somehow even more rumpled than it had been from days of sleeping, marching, and sleeping in it again.

As soon as Mal had her pants undone, she stepped back to the tree, kneeling on the ground in front of Polly and tugging at Polly’s trousers and underwear, shoving them down and out of the way.

Polly gasped quietly, her hand grabbing for Mal’s shoulder as the vampire exposed her to the cold night air. Mal helped her out of her boots quickly, discarding them off to one side and then finishing removing Polly’s trousers once and for all.

And then there was nothing between Mal and what she craved. She could smell it, all that hot arousal that she’d explored with her fingers before. She put her hands on Polly’s hips and Polly let out another little gasping noise, already leaning back against the tree and shifting her stance to be wider.

Mal leaned in and lapped the flat of her tongue lazily through Polly’s wetness, and, above her, she heard Polly muffle her moan into her closed fist. The hand on Mal’s shoulder tightened.

Grinning, Mal slowly moved closer, taking another languid lick as she buried her nose in Polly’s mound, the tickle of hair against her nose grounding her.

And then, tired of toying with her, Mal ran one of her hands up the inside of Polly’s thigh and slipped one of her fingers once again inside of her.

Polly moaned, and Mal leaned in and started licking at her clit as her finger pumped in and out. Polly cried out, but muffled the noise as before, as Mal slid a second finger inside of her and continued lapping at her.

“ _Mal_ , please…” Polly said, in a tight whisper between moans.

Mal sucked lightly on Polly’s clit, continuing to fuck her with her fingers, and Polly’s legs trembled. Polly’s hand tightened on Mal’s shoulder and she whined. Mal felt her walls tighten on her fingers and she growled in her throat. When Polly came, Mal continued lapping at her pussy, swallowing her down hungrily.

Polly leaned back against the tree, catching her breath, and Mal licked at her fingers, relishing the taste. Mal’s other hand went down the open front of her own pants and she finally let out a sigh as she rubbed at herself, finally getting something after all that friction and heat.

Above her, Polly breathed heavily as she recovered. She looked down at Mal, eyes wide, as Mal let out a quiet noise of pleasure.

Polly licked her lips, and Mal smirked a little, slowing her strokes on herself. She didn’t want to come yet, not with the way Polly’s heart was pounding.

Mal met Polly’s eyes as she thrust her hips against her own hand, and then she leaned forward to lick experimentally along Polly’s labia, her tongue circling around her clit once more.

Polly moaned and grabbed Mal’s shoulder again, and Mal chuckled, sucking and licking at Polly as she slipped a finger inside herself. The sounds that Polly made, stifled and strangled as they were, were beginning to drive Mal mad in a good way.

She reached up and thrust a finger back into Polly’s pussy, and Polly moaned. This time, after thrusting a few times, Mal slipped the second finger back inside of Polly, and she practically whined, gasping and moaning. She muffled the sound by biting her lip, but it didn’t go away entirely. Polly moved in time with Mal’s thrusts, now. Her hand on Mal’s shoulder was tight and white-knuckled.

Mal hummed, loving the feel of Polly around her fingers, in her mouth, standing above her and writhing with desire. Mal’s hand inside her own pants struggled to stay focused amidst all the other stimuli, but as she felt the heat coalescing, she moaned. Above her, Polly gasped, shuddering and bucking her hips.

Mal came, her eyes squeezing shut and her toes curling inside of her boots as she moaned against Polly. But instead of continuing to stroke herself until she was finished, Mal grabbed Polly’s hips, attacking her pussy with her tongue as her fingers thrust in and out at a furious rate.

Polly bit down on her fist and cried out, her walls tightening around Mal’s fingers and her legs quivering. Mal drank her up, licking and sucking at her clit and labia until Polly gently pushed her away, out of breath and clearly weak in the knees.

Mal was out of breath and she practically collapsed backwards to lay in the grass. She brought her fingers, the ones that had been inside of Polly, and lapped her tongue over them.

“ _There_ ,” she thought, “ _that’ll tide you over._ ”

It wasn’t going to be enough, she knew that already. But that had bought her, perhaps, another couple of days of sanity. She smiled, looking up at Polly salaciously.

“Thank you, Private Perks.”

Polly, who was leaning against the tree catching her breath, gave Mal a dirty glare.

“Oh, no, you don’t.” Polly said.

Mal laughed, even as Polly continued speaking above her.

“You don’t get to pretend this was all part of your suave vampiric seduction _now_. Not after all that stuff you said about wanting me to want you.”

Mal stretched her arms over her head, still smiling softly. “I know. So why don’t you come lie in the grass with me?”

Polly huffed and Mal could hear her footsteps as she moved around.

“Lemme get my trousers back on. Fat lot of good this will have been if someone comes up here and finds me sockless.”

Mal looked up at the stars and found that her grin still hadn’t faded by the time Polly was flopping down on the ground next to her. Polly shifted until their shoulders were touching, lying on her back in a mirror of what Mal was doing.

Turning her head, Mal looked at Polly’s soft, moonlit face, and reached over to wrap an arm around her and pull her even closer.

Polly smiled. “You look better.”

“Feel better.” Mal murmured.

“Well, I suppose if you crave any more…” Polly drifted off with a blush. “Well, you know.”

Mal thought about telling Polly that she doubted a little trick like this one would work more than once. Sex was a very, _very_ good diversion of her energy, sure. And this time she had been lucky enough to keep ahold on her desires long enough to act on her other, less violent desires. But there was going to come a time when Mal doubted anything save… well, coffee or blood… would keep her from cracking.

There was going to come a point at which she would not know what was real well enough to control herself.

Instead, though, she leaned over to kiss Polly’s cheek.

“I just crave _you_.” She whispered.

Polly grinned, her eyes closing gently.

They laid together in the grass until Mal heard stirring in the camp below, and ushered the two of them into more official-looking positions long before Tonker got there to relieve Maladict. There was a knowing gleam in Tonker’s eye, as she nodded to the two of them and bid them sleep well. Before Mal walked away, she made a passing remark that she “looked well”, and when Mal turned back to her, she was smirking.

Mal decided _not_ to ask what Tonker thought had happened. The only options seemed to be that either she knew the truth, or she assumed Mal had broken her black ribbon, and neither of those were conversations that Mal wanted to have.

Polly wrapped herself up in her blanket, and Mal climbed into a nearby tree. The classic vampire sleeping mode was _not_ very friendly to locations that didn’t have big, dusty rafters where one could swing upside down and then dramatically unfurl one’s cloak with a cry of “ _Blaaah_!” or similar as soon as there was a creak on a floorboard. However, Mal had been managing fairly well using tree branches and waiting for the snap of twigs.

Mal sighed as she wrapped her cloak around herself, smiling just a little.

Polly had wanted her back. That fact sang like a brightly-colored bird in her chest, even as a darker part of her mind whispered, _“But she doesn’t even know who you are, does she?”_

Mal furrowed her brow, shifting a little, trying to shake off the thought, but the guilt wouldn’t leave her alone.

The guilt sat in her, unmoving.

_Damn it all_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please feel free to leave a comment or kudos (or both), it would seriously make my day!


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